Levels

The months seem to have just been slipping by and it makes me wonder if i have been wasting time. Sometimes i feel like I am on the right path but then there is that other option that comes along that seems equally beneficial. On thing i have learned in life... is that is will hand you the good and the bad no matter what situation you are in. People will judge your ideas and you actions and it all comes down to how much it matters to you and what you do about them. I choose not to really react. All my life has been observing and taking note on the way in which all humans interact with each other in different settings, and how people adapt to new environments. I feel like im a quest of some sort. The kind that Indiana Jones was on. I never got the opportunity to watch Indiana Jones. As a black kid growing up in urban settings... those sort of resources were scarce. Many were scarce. The ones you see now- the ones your no longer blind to that have exposed themselves in your life. The ones that make a difference in quality.

A number of things can motivate a person to do something. In a world where conformity has been upgraded to normality, its important we maintain a balance between who we are and who we want to be. We shouldn't allow the voices of others to influence our paths and we most certainly should not rely on anyone else for our success. I realize that alot of people are ignorant to alot of things and i think that is just the fault of those who are not curious and have chosen the route of conformity- but for the others who have created their own path, it easy to be daunted by the how often people are judging and how much scrutiny your endeavors might endure. One thing is for certain though. No man who has ever discovered something new or great, cared for the aftermath of what happen as much as he cared for the planning and execution of his idea and the resulting feeling of accomplishment that comes with it.

I have the idea construct a company- a promotional one which would promote a number of things but most importantly would serve as a community of the people that i know. A way to organize them for later on. It is easy for people to meet and greet but to be in touch later is the part that most are looking for. People want reliability and they want a source that is always available. While i do not want to be the source of promotional needs for the rest of my life. I am currently utilizing my talents to bring people together to make a success for myself. I am only 19 years old and while the age of 20 which is approaching is daunting and scary, it also awakes me to the opportunities that are here and those that will be lost if i do not take advantage of them. I am fully aware. I am beyond aware of how important money will play as a role in my future.

School is busy and it is neat surreal to imagine a day job supporting ones goals and desires. I want my company to be last a short time and following its launch and success... I want to take the money and travel the world alone. Meet new people and blog and share my experience. Video Blog, voice record, write poetry, express myself. I eventually want to compile these things into a book which i was stating earlier in my blog. I cannot believe im turning twenty. Call these rants if you want but they are the reserved thoughts of my brain that i dont share with people for fear of vulnerability. We all feel slightly vulnerable to the harms of the world and interestingly enough a child in a YouTube video explained why would you share all your feelings and thoughts with the world. Its funny that even as a child weve been either transformed or have developed that sort of thought pattern that discretion and privacy is important in this world.

Its saturday while usually i would be out doing all the wrong things with my other degenerate teenage companions... today is an unusual case of wanting to get things done. to finally follow through on those accomplishments and that success. I am no longer waiting for a train to come sweep me off my feet. We live in a world where our actions are a direct result of who we are here. If we are not doing anything with our time and resources then we are just as good as dead or another person among the many who have comformed. So will you lead or follow? I hear it all the time. The good and the bad. The right and the wrong.

Our brains have been shaped by the media and how abilities to get out of this box has proven to be a fail.  but whats harder and more challenging that anything is getting out of the box and not standing out like a sore thumb among the crowd. A level of discretion, conformity, and individuality that is rarely found. A balance.

If i fail. Then hay! At least i can say i tried.

I was watching a video the other day about woman in our society and how the media has transformed the thought pattern of so many to think and act a certain way and even as a child we are subjected to these cruel limitations.  Just the other day my little neice was putting on my sisters heels and walking around the room with her hand on her hip talking about how she would one day have a boyfriend. She put on her pretend jewlery and put her left hand on her hip. She moved about the hall the way a model does and she did not for one second THINK that she was incapable of being just that: a model.  We can all be models to a society. be the prototype of what is in and whats not but in the end it is what makes us happy that really trully matters.

MY PROBLEM IS LIKING EVERYTHING. If i hadnt tried it... i kinda wanna give it a shot. GIVE IT A SHOT. You only live once, We are young and will regret not living later, and lifes socail norms and structures are simply things to keep most of us from running wild and being out of order. Right now. we are pretty ordered. So SUPPORT a friend. give a hand. Donate some money to charity, buy a concert ticket. LIVE LIFE because soon we will be growing up and wont have the time of day to try new things.