The combat of darkness...

The light pierces the darkness as a shinning dot among shadows. The person who observes is lucky because its rarely noticed by people. Most of us are out of synch with Te rhythm of nature.

Blast from the past!

Another thought from the past: I feel like I've been set up. Nothing In the world seems to make much sense anymore and I simply trapped in the confines of a room must attempt to make sense of it all. It's here that the treasure of my mind and curiosity are challenged before me and what seems to be the world. I don't quite understand why life is such a pleasure crush and a ride for thrill and nonsense. We are exposed and the stripped bear as if nothing mstters. Nothing is real. They say that but I have a feeling that's much deeper than that. I know that life is a bigger puzzle that we have to work hard to understand and to do that we have to sacrifice ourselves and others to get it. It's funny when you think about death and how it wants to grab at every moment of life to make sure everything is the way it wants it. These days life expectancy is very high so i know ill live a long and prosperous life if I do all the things that god wants me to but that's just my frustration. I don't know what god wants me to do. I have an understanding but it hasn't manifested itself to become my reality: I feel blessed. I think that's my reality.

The Sunday Eye

Sometimes I wake up early in the morning and ponder our existence as human beings. We strive so much to compare ad compete with one another but what is there to compare? We are so small when you actually think about it. We live our futile lives on the edge of emotion and passion and for some of our passions are trully unknown. This morning I pondered the idea of hope and what that means to me. When I speak And post important stuff that I share a truth that's only as relevant nd real as I make it. We are shapers of our own mind body and soul. I would say my passion and truth is a dedication to humanity. I see so much suffering in the world but instead of suffering and obscurity, I choose to focus on the positive. Who are we as human beings that make us so vulnerable to our own insecurities? Shouldn't we be focusing On those who want and need help? That seems to be the most logical and revealed prt of who I Am and what life means to me. What does life mean to you? Life doesn't have a definition. As beasts of our own fate we must imagine that if we focus individually on our own progress we not be helping others. The goodness we revolve from being a mere spot on the surface of a grain of sand, to being that grain of sand. If we are lucky I think we become immovable rocks on the beach- permanently sketched in the element of history trying to be moved but no one likes to touch rocks! I dreams and I wonder but action is the only means of manifesting these Thoughts to something positive and true. We must live from there. We must live from that place in our heart that makes us want to help others. If we are not the worker that at least wants the best for life and others then who do we become? We die a slow death of boredom and obsecurity. We search to find, but we find only what our hearts will allow. For some of us what our heart allows is so very little. We are visitors in the circle of life constantly looking for entertainment. Life isn't all entertainment and fun when you truly think about it. We must save ourselves from ourselves by submitting in small conversations with others. We natrually don't trust people we know because we know very little purselves. To speak then is to say nothing in the grand scope of everything that is to be spoken. When we can find one place in our heart that wants to know the next then we are truly blessed. There is no other way around our own insecurities besides sharing them with others In friendship.

Mindless Drone

This month has been fascinating. Ive gotten to see the extreme ends and beginning of friendships and to see the bonds that we establish with people in a more truthful colorful light. Not to be interpreted as a dark disconnection between real and fake relationships but rather a reality that each of us are on our individual paths doing our own thing and not one of each knows each others paths more than we know our own despite some people tendency to say "I know you better than i know myself"... thats jut OD and its not even true. So amazing how each of us humans on earth have a story- similar in ways because we are all manufactured to do certain things as humans like go to school and be born but each of us have different stories. Noone can quite give the suggestion for success that YOU need because they are only going off of what they have experienced which is not at all the same from your life since each of ours are different. that isn't to say that advice is not helpful or useful- it is to say that intuition- trusting yourself and using every once of your ability to think, to feel, to judge, to see a world and to analyze yourself in it.

I get so caught of feelings of failure because i am so afraid of becoming a mindless drone. Mindless drones are the people each day who go about their lives living and dreaming, and hoping for a better life but are ultimately doing the same things all the time. They work the same job, same hours, all year round for the past decade and have not done anything else. Occasionally they are going out or having fun or purchase a new sofa but they are mindless. Their jobs don't spare the use creativity and they are lacking a feeling and a life really. Its sort of like fight club- and the worst part is that................

Their jobs are likely to be replaced by a robot years from now.... so what is to become of the mindless drone.. well there is the street... we see many of them in the form of "bums", alot of them try music, DONT BE A MINDLESS DRONE-

BUT HOW DOES ONE AVOID IT?

thinking.....

I see my dreams coming to fruition. Will i hit a rough patch soon? or will i keep up the good work?

Rain

It rains intensly on the short window sill i have enough room to place one cigarette and i cant help put to raise the window and listen to the sound of it all. The music of many tiny droplets of water rushing down to the earth to provide the message from above. I get sad to hear it slow down. I want it to get more intense. I dont want it to be dangerous but i want it to be just loud enough so i can hear. It provides a background of images, or thoughts that no other setting could and i cant help but be entranced by what the scene has to offer.

For some reason when i hear rain I think of an event. an enormous event which has no regard for invitations and does not have bias to its attendees. All that are present may partake and i one of those lucky living beings who gets to enjoy this scenery. Its a quite ceremony but it succeeds at seeming important. I know thats its raining because it needs to . I know its raining because it just has to happen at some point. The tiny little bottles of condensed water droplets come down heavy bearing the message:

Here is the rain. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Central Park

I went to Central Park with Marcin Pellegrino and heard a guy with a guitar singing and it brought tears to my eyes. The feelings were uncontrollable. It might me recall all the times i wanted to be a singer/song writer when i was younger. Its in moments like these that I find myself stuck and still confused on what steps  I am taking in my life... and where exactly it is leading me. After I am done with all my school work in a week... I will spend this summer developing TBAG (www.thebitterapplegroup.com), learning how to play my guitar, writing songs, and traveling the world in search of inspiration.

Can we diverge from our life-long dreams and try to get some of our childhood goals accomplished while we wait? or are we taking on too much at once?

YOUNGEST MAYOR. Youngest Councilman.

LONG TERM GOALS. Short Term Goal.


Respectfully,
Calvin M. Swint
5/28/2011